i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
