Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
bring money and cleavage
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
