I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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