So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
