Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
