best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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