who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
i believe in u and ur pee
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
