Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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