i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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