Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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