He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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