There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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