so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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