I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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