problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics â¤ï¸
Randomize
