woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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