i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
