I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
