So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize