1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I still have a little drunk in my system
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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