At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
