the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
