the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
