So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
