Can i not drive my cunt home
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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