Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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