plz talk dirty to me
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
