Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
