LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
