Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
