Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
