I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
