I'll bet she douches with gravy.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
