Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
