Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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