Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
