I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
