Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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