...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
