its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
