So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
