Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
i think we sleep fucked last night...
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
