im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
