marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
