there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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