man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
