I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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