I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
and you fell through a lawn chair
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
