3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
