It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
