She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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