what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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