so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
