He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
