yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I wish life had little blips of pornography
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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