Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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