I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize