I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
found the other keg... it's in the tree
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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