I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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