have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
