And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize