You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
