I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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