I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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