no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
PANTIES FOUND
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
