Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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