either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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