When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
My breasts were aching with rage.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
