My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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